It Took Me Seven Months to Fall In Love with My Daughter

Y’all – I have a confession. I am totally, crazy, overwhelmingly and intensely in love with my daughter. Isla is nine months old and I love her more every single day. Cliché, yes. But it’s the truth. She brings me more joy than I could have ever imagined. However, I didn’t experience this type of love until Isla was seven months old. Here’s my story.

While I was pregnant I didn’t feel a strong connection to the baby inside of me. I did feel an overwhelming sense that I had to do whatever I could to keep the baby safe. However, I was not one of those people who had conversations with my baby while rubbing my swollen belly. Maybe it was my superstitious nature holding me back from getting too excited, or maybe it was because we didn’t find out the sex of Isla until she was born so I couldn’t fully connect with who I was carrying. I don’t know…

Here I am recreating the

Here I am recreating the “I carried a watermelon” scene from Dirty Dancing – with my pregnant belly. Clearly not singing lullabies or playing classical music to the little one inside of me. Just utilizing her as a party trick and a prop.

When Isla was born and I heard the words “It’s a girl” I had an out of body experience. I knew I was supposed to be more excited than I was, but I was more focused on how exhausted I felt and how anti-climactic the whole experience actually seemed. Maybe it was because I was at the hospital for 37 hours and had 41 weeks (and 37 hours) to think about what the delivery was going to be like. It was nothing like I imagined. I thought when I held my healthy baby in my arms and found out who had been hanging out inside of me for all that time I would be over the moon. I wasn’t.

After Isla was delivered we only had a few minutes before things got a little scary. She wasn’t breathing well and her heart rate dropped. There was five-minutes of sheer terror – for my husband. He kept looking over at the pediatrician working on Isla. I could hear the sounds of her feet being slapped and the pediatrician saying, “Come on. Come on!” Tears filled Neil’s eyes. And all I could do was scream at him to look at me.

“Don’t look at the baby, look at me! Just look at me!”

My fresh, beautiful bundle of joy was almost lifeless on a table a few feet away from me, but all I could do was howl at my husband to keep his eyes on me. I didn’t want him to see what was going on – I wanted to protect him.

I'm pretty exhausted here, y'all.

I’m pretty exhausted here, y’all.

Five minutes later, Isla was fine and she made her way into my arms. I looked at her and said, “Well, you certainly know how to make an entrance and give your father a heart attack.” And then laughed at myself for having my first moment of parental sarcasm.

(Note: As I recount the events that happened in that five-minute scary period, I realize I’m pretty breezy about it. But the bottom line is, I can’t control what my emotions were, and Isla is more than OK now. That’s what matters.)

I stared at her for a while. Her face was flat. She had a crazy overbite. Her nose was smushed. She was furry. Was she cute? I thought she was. But I was acutely aware that other people probably wouldn’t think so.

Check out that fuzz.

Click on this photo and check out that forehead fuzz.

I wasn’t drunk on my baby yet – you might know what I’m talking about. The feelings you have inside of you where you’re 100% confident that your baby is smarter, cuter and better than any other baby out there. And you are sure that other parents say the same thing about their babies – but you know that your baby REALLY IS the smartest and cutest baby of all time. It took me a long time to get to that place, which is pretty friggin’ awesome. I digress…

The overwhelming sense I had to protect Isla while I was pregnant grew into an intense sense that I would kill anyone or anything that tried to fuck with my baby after she arrived. Yes – I loved her. But I wasn’t in love with her. It was a very strange mix of emotions. The first week we had Isla at home I stayed up with her all night, terrified that something would happen if I wasn’t awake every single second. Neil forced me to let go a little – and little by little I became more comfortable. I spent three months on maternity leave. And yes, we bonded. And I thought she was adorable. But I certainly didn’t have “that feeling” that so many parents described. Instead of a sense of bliss I was busy wondering if Neil and I had made the biggest mistake of our lives. I definitely remembered what life was like before having Isla and thought about it often. PS – So many people say the minute you have a baby you forget what life was like before the baby. You guys – I still remember what life was like before having a baby. It was pretty awesome.

Life before Isla didn't suck.

Life before Isla didn’t suck.

The months went on, I went back to work and Isla suddenly started becoming a person. She wasn’t a lifeless lump. She started to laugh. She started to play peek-a-boo. I could interact with her. But I still didn’t have this feeling that I craved – this feeling of all-encompassing love. I didn’t miss her when I was away from her. Sometimes I even forgot about her. I finally gave up and accepted that I wasn’t going to be one of those parents who sat around and thought about my baby all of the time. It wasn’t like I didn’t love her. I just didn’t love her as much as I wanted to. I vowed protect her and do anything I could to give her a great life. And then, I moved on.

Then one day, something changed. I came home from work and my keys jangled in the door. I could hear my daughter start to squeal with joy. My stomach flipped as I struggled to unlock the door. Finally as the key caught the latch, I swung the door open, and there was my beautiful daughter staring at me. Her smile was so wide that her nose crinkled. She chirped with delight as I put down my bag and went to wash my hands. I walked towards her and she bounced up and down with excitement. I scooped her up in my arms, smelled her hair, kissed her plump cheeks and wanted to inhale her. My eyes filled with tears. Our nanny Suzette (slash third parent) asked if I was OK. I looked at her and said, “I’m absolutely, positively, head-over-heels in love with my daughter.”

I tell this story because I want people to know it can take a long time to feel the type of love so many parents talk about – a love you have never experienced before. And you know what – that’s OK. Being a parent is really hard and the trials and tribulations that come with this new role are overwhelming. A small part of me is terrified that one day Isla will read this and be upset with me. The larger part of me wants her to know that it’s OK if it takes her time to fall madly, deeply, head-over-heels in love with her babies. And if she falls insanely in love at first site, she’s pretty damn lucky to feel the most incredible love she will ever experience so early on.


Recipe for Vacationing with a Baby – Bring a lot of Stuff & Let Go

Vacation time!

Vacation time!

We’re in Saint Martin with my husband’s entire family – and our baby. So I have limited time on my hands – and limited brain capacity. I posted a photo of me and Isla enjoying a beautiful view on vacation (the one good photo we took after about 12 outtakes) and Stephanie, a friend of mine from college who I have not talked to in years, mentioned she would like to see a post about traveling with a baby. Stephanie, 1. I was so excited to see you read my blog! That means a lot. 2. Thanks for giving me an idea on what to do for today’s post. Because vacation brain is in high gear, y’all.

I’ll be honest. The key to traveling with a baby is to manage your expectations. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen and accepting that certain things are beyond your control makes it less frustrating when things don’t go according to plan. Like nap time. Look, your baby is going to be out of whack while away. So don’t panic. I’m a firm believer in the fact that Isla can pick up on my stress level. So if I stress that she isn’t getting her regularly scheduled nap program in, I’ve got a tired and cranky baby on my hands who is picking up on my stressful energy. Not good!

Below is the recipe we used for packing up Isla for a week-long vacation at the beach. The house we are staying at has a washer/dryer (CLUTCH!), so keep that in mind as you read the list. We wanted her to have some stuff around that was familiar, since there was so much newness that was going to happen.

Prep time: 4 days
Cook time: 5 hours
Serves: One happy family – kind of

7 outfits – cute ones for going out and such. Because babies like to look cute on vacation.
5 pajamas – we just did onesies.
4 swimsuits – the girl needs options!
2 rash guards
3 swim diapers – the reusable ones.
24 disposable swim diapers 
84 diapers – Isla goes through about 8 diapers a day and we are gone for 7 days. So, we packed a lot of extra diapers. But y’all, on the plane ride Isla went through 4 diaper changes – always bring extra diapers.
Diaper wipes
Diaper cream
Baby sunscreen – we use Babyganics
Travel sized baby shampoo , body wash and lotion – we use Johnson & Johnson – judge if you must.
Aveeno Calming lotion – for nighttime
4 bottles & formula – or your boobs! We calculated how much she drinks and then made sure we had extra.
21 packs of food pouches – I usually homemake her food, but there was no way I was packing homemade food to take with us – and there was no way in hell I was going to spend time homemaking her food on vacation. 21 packs is a lot for how much she’s actually eating, but again. Extras. Always have extras of EVERYTHING.
Car Seat
– We just brought our stroller caddy frame. It’s basically a snap ‘n go that is specific to our stroller. It’s easier to collapse and smaller than our ginormous stroller frame and we aren’t strolling her around much, so this works for us.
– we brought a few of her favorites that are easy to pack (and by easy, I mean we packed an additional suitcase for all of her items) so she has some familiar stuff while we are away. In all honesty, she’s been pretty happy playing with things such as water bottles, toothbrush covers, my hair and Neil’s chest hair.

Medicine – Just in case we packed our entire medicine cabinet (and here is a helpful dosage chart, but ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR PEDIATRICIAN FIRST!):

  • Infant Tylenol
  • Infant Advil
  • Children’s Benadryl


Think about how long you are going to be away.

Panic about how much shit you know you’re going to have to take with you. Think about the fact that you never realized how easy it was to pack before you had a baby, nor did you relish in the simplicity of prepping for a vacation before you had a baby.

Lay all of your baby’s stuff in the middle of the living room. Look at it. Think about how ridiculous it is that you need to take all of this stuff with you. Find a suitcase that will fit all of this stuff. Pack up your own bags. Put everything by the front door so you don’t forget a bag on your way out.

Look at all of your suitcases and laugh. Pull out your phone and take the obligatory look-how-much-stuff-we-need-to-travel-with-now-that-we-have-a-baby photo.

If you’re flying with your baby, basically just subscribe to the fact that it’s a game of chance. Hope for friendly neighbors that will understand you’re at the mercy of your baby. If your baby does freak out on the plane, it’s nice to do whatever you can to try to make her stop crying – even if you know nothing is going to stop her. Basically you want people to look at you and see that you’re doing what you can so you don’t receive the “why aren’t these people doing anything to help their baby” eyes. We did a lot of standing up and walking around with Isla. She did take a 20-minute nap on my lap, which was adorable. She then sat in between me and Neil for about 25 minutes while we sipped our bloody mary’s – this baby clearly understands her parents priorities.

She did lose it a few times, and I gave my seat-mates the “I’m so sorry, please don’t hate me eyes.” You might want to practice those in the mirror for a few days before you leave.

As for schedules while you’re away – Isla usually takes two 2-hour naps. One at 9:30am and one at 2pm. The day we flew she slept for a total of 45 minutes before bedtime. We did what we could to get her to sleep, but she wasn’t having any of it. Yea, she eventually lost it and cried like she was a ravenous newborn who had no clue that someone was actually going to feed her, but you know what, we put her to bed that night and she slept just fine. Like I said, just have the mentality that things might not go according the plan and it makes things a whole lot easier. We are doing what we can to keep her on a schedule, but we aren’t being as strict. Because hey, we’re on vacation y’all.

Hanging out in her designated play area.

Isla hanging out in her designated play area.

Having fun with daddy!

Having fun with daddy!

Sleepy baby on vacation.

Sleepy baby on vacation.

Adult & Baby Frittata – Plus Some Bonus Baby Prep

I realized this weekend that no matter how prepared I think I am to get myself and my baby out of the house, now that I have a baby everything takes me one hour and 30 minutes. Yes, ladies and gents. I’ve become that person. But, let’s face it. I’ve become THAT person on so many fronts. I can’t help it. I HAVE A BABY, NOW. But a little piece of me HATES this part of me. Because I swore I wouldn’t be this person.

An aside: I reference becoming the person you swore you would never be in this post – because before you become a parent you actually have no fucking clue who you are going to end up being as a parent. You heard it here first. Also, the post gives you a glimpse into why everything takes you 90 minutes – even when it shouldn’t. Though I bet, if I read a post like this before I was a parent I would most likely swear that I would figure out how to not be the person the writer of the post became.

Sometimes when I get sad that I have partially become the person I swore I would never be, I take a good look at this mug my husband got me for Mother's Day and remind myself that despite the fact that I might be what I said I would never be, I'm the world's OKAYEST mom. And that's pretty damn good.

Sometimes when I get sad that I have partially become the person I swore I would never be, I take a good look at this mug my husband got me for Mother’s Day and remind myself that despite the fact that I might be what I said I would never be, I’m the world’s OKAYEST mom. And that’s pretty damn good.

On Saturday Neil and I were supposed to be at our friend’s apartment at 8:15am. Jeff and Jaime are doing the NYC Triathlon with Neil in a month and they have a daughter who is about 15-months. I’m on baby-duty while the athletes train. We woke up at 7am. We were prepped for the morning. But something happened – I guess I blacked out – and we weren’t ready to walk out the door until 8:30. And lord help me, I needed to stop and get an ice coffee on the way.

This is me with Isla and Em after arriving 30-minutes late to Jeff and Jaime's. But I made it! And they got to do their athlete training stuff. So, it's a win win!

This is me with Isla and Em after arriving 30-minutes late to Jeff and Jaime’s. But I made it! And they got to do their athlete training stuff. So, it’s a win win!

I’m telling y’all this bit of information because: 1) If you’re a parent, you’ll understand what I’m saying and 2) If you’re not a parent and plan on being one, but swear you won’t be like me, maybe one day you’ll remember this post when you do have kids and say – well at least I’m not the only one – and she warned me. And then you’ll thank me.

Now that we have that all cleared up. Sunday was Neil’s first Father’s Day and it was pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. It involved family time AND A TWO HOUR NAP FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY. So, any way you slice it – it was good. I LOVE FAMILY NAP TIME. Mainly because I miss naps like you wouldn’t believe. Y’all, if you don’t have kids, or if you’re kids are grown up enough to take care of themselves for a few hours, PLEASE TAKE LOTS OF NAPS.

Sunday also involved cooking for the adults and the babe. I didn’t have enough time to make the baby food and freeze it, so instead I prepped the baby food so tonight I can easily purée/mash and it’s ready to go.

For brunch I made a potato, kale and red pepper frittata that is baby friendly, and prepped additional red bell peppers for baby food. I also sliced up some corn to be made into baby food while the frittata cooked.

Here’s the recipe and break down of how I managed my time:

Potato, Kale and Red Pepper Frittata

Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 45 minutes
Serves: 4 adults (or 2 if you’re me and Neil) and makes 1 cup baby food; Plus additional red pepper and prepped veggies for your baby food

2 red peppers – one diced for the frittata and one sliced for baby food
30 frozen tater tots
1 1/2 cups frozen kale
2 garlic cloves finely diced
1 shallot finely diced
1/2 a Vidalia onion (or any onion) roughly chopped
4 eggs
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese, or any cheese you like
Veggies that you would like to prep for baby food, since there is some down time while the frittata cooks (might as well make use of the time since you’ll already be in the kitchen)

Preheat oven to 400.

Bring a large, oven safe pan with a flat bottom to medium/high heat. Put a small amount of water in the bottom of the pan (about 3 tablespoons) – it should simmer when it hits the pan. Add the shallots and garlic and cook until translucent. Add the onions and a little more water if the pan is starting to look dry. Bring the heat down to medium. Cook until shallots and garlic are golden and onion is translucent. Add the diced red pepper. Bring the heat down to low, add a little more water and cover the pan for about 4 minutes.

Downtime! Take 4 minutes to start prepping veggies you want to make for your baby. I had some leftover fresh corn on the cob, so I sliced the corn off the cob and then packed up the baby veggies in tupperware and put in the fridge to be dealt with later. I also bagged up the additional sliced red pepper.

Back to the frittata – after the 4 minutes, all the veggies in the pan should be soft. Bring the heat back up to medium, add a little more water (two tablespoons or so) and add the tater tots. Let those cook for about a minute, cover and bring the heat back down to low. Cook for about 5 minutes.

Downtime! In this downtime you can prep some more veggies for your baby. I was done with what I wanted to prep, so I sipped on a Rosé-Mimosa. What’s that you ask? That’s a bit of Prosecco topped with Rosé. It was good.

Back to the meal – once the potatoes are soft, mash and break them up so they mix in nicely with the other veggies in the pan. Then add the frozen kale. You might need to add a bit of water, a tablespoon or so. Cover the pan again for about 3 minutes, allowing the kale to cook down. Uncover, mix together and remove a cup of the mixture to be stored in fridge and mashed later for baby food.

Adult and baby food, side by side.

Adult and baby food, side by side. Baby food ready for fridge for mashing and freezing. Adult food ready to be crisped, cheesed and egged.

Now you can get to seasoning the adult portion of this meal. I used some smoked salt that I had along with some pepper. Season as you like. Then mash the adult portion down to make a flat pancake along the bottom of the pan (see above photo for reference) and turn the heat up to medium/high. Let that cook for 2 minutes, flip and cook for another 2 minutes. This creates a nice crust.

Sprinkle the top of the hash with shredded cheese and put the pan in the oven for about a minute, allowing the cheese to melt. Remove the pan from the oven and crack 4 eggs over the top of the hash. Put back in the oven and cook for 3-4 minutes for a runny yolk. If you want the yolk cooked more, cook it longer.

Remove from pan and serve.

Sometimes You Hate Your Partner – And That’s OK

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Back in 2013 I wrote this post about my two-year wedding anniversary. Ben Affleck had recently won his Oscar and thanked his wife with a “marriage is work” speech. Some people thought it was insulting; others, like me, thought it was one of the most heartfelt, honest, loving and spot-on, partner-thank-you speeches of all time.

Guys, let’s face it. Marriage is hard work. And here is a cliché for you – when you add children into the mix it gets EVEN HARDER. Who would have thought?

Our first family photo.

Our first family photo.

Father’s Day is around the corner, and this post is an honest tribute to the best father I know – who just so happens to be my husband. But guess what – sometimes I really want to kill him. Because I’m human. And he’s not perfect. And neither am I.

We may not be perfect as parents or partners. But there are moments of perfection sprinkled around our life. Like this.

We may not be perfect as parents or partners. But there are moments of perfection sprinkled around our life. Like this.

The first night we had Isla at home we were on our own – no grandparents. No night nurse. No nothing. Just me, Neil, and this tiny human who I was convinced we were going to somehow ruin. As I held Isla in my arms at 3am, tears streaming down my face, I cried to Neil about how we definitely didn’t spend enough time together before Isla was born and that I was certain we had just ruined our PERFECT marriage. Somehow, bringing a child into the world made me completely black out and forget that I ever got frustrated, annoyed, irritated or sometimes-hated Neil. Y’all, relax. I only sometimes hated him. You know what they say – you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone. I had paved paradise, and put up a parking lot. I LOVED NEIL SO MUCH. And this tiny baby parking lot was going to fuck it all up.

Me at 3am on our fist night home with Isla, crying and asking Neil to document this moment. Because I wanted to remind myself how much I loved him when I forgot. Hormones will make you do really sweet things...and really CRAZY things.

Me at 3am on our fist night home, crying and asking Neil to document this moment. Because I wanted to remind myself how much I loved him when I forgot. Hormones will make you do really sweet things…and really CRAZY things.

Someone's in love.

Someone’s in love.

Don’t worry – this super-love fest I was experiencing lasted about four days. I got over it in a hurry. And then instead of feeling like I loved Neil like I never loved him before, I felt a protective instinct inside of me that I had never experienced. I had to keep this creature who I had brought into the word alive. That was my sole responsibility in life. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about her in general. But lord help me, I was here to make sure she survived. I was going on seven days of no sleep and Neil finally told me it was time for me to cool my jets and take the night off.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS? I CAN’T LET YOU TAKE CARE OF HER ALL NIGHT!” I howled as Neil held Isla and looked at me like I was a wild animal. Because let’s face it. I was. I hadn’t brushed my teeth or my hair for seven days. And by all night, what I meant was a three hour stretch. Because I was breast feeding and hadn’t figured out the pump yet (which I would eventually master). And Isla was going to need to eat.

“Baby, calm down, it will…”

“DON’T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!” Neil’s brow furrowed, which really pissed me off. “DON’T YOU MAKE THAT FACE AT ME!”

“Shhhhh. It’s OK. Relaaaa….” As the word relax started to come out of his mouth he looked like he wanted to take it back. As he should. Never tell a woman to relax. And NEVER NEVER NEVER tell a woman who just birthed a baby who hasn’t slept for a week to relax.

“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THIS. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.” I sobbed. The exhaustion had gotten to me. I cracked. Neil rocked Isla in his arms and I realized I had to let go. I couldn’t stay awake forever to make sure she was alive, every second of the night. So for one three-hour stretch Neil could stay awake to protect the little monster who I wanted to keep safe more than anything. I took a deep breath, wiped the snot from my upper lip and said, “OK. I’ll sleep. But you have to swear not to sleep. And to make sure she’s breathing.” I shuffled off to bed – and turned around to add, “If anything happens – just remember – it’s still my fault because I trusted you to take care of her – and I’m sure you don’t want to live with that.”

Neil did indeed keep our daughter alive for that three-hour stretch. And soon enough we mastered the night-time. And the day-time.

Neil documenting what he did on his first stretch of baby duty - just in case you needed to prove to me that he stayed awake. Smart man.

Neil documenting what he did on his first stretch of baby duty – just in case he needed to prove to me that he stayed awake. Smart man.

I look back on that first night now and smile. It was Neil’s first moment taking care of not only his daughter – but his daughter’s mother. I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to protect my daughter. And Neil had an overwhelming feeling that he needed to protect his daughter – and his wife. He saw me crack, and he picked up my pieces. It wasn’t in some grand gesture of a push-present. It was in my darkest hour. He put up with my irrational state. He forced me to let go a little. He got me to bed. Most importantly – he knew what I needed when I was completely lost.

Neil dove in head first into fatherhood- wanting to be a part of everything – and he still does. Which is sometimes REALLY annoying. He’s got an opinion on almost EVERYTHING. He questions me. A lot. But the bottom line is – he’s the best friggin’ dad out there. And while he might drive me crazy, he’s always there to pick me up when I don’t really know that I need it. We fight. We yell. I scream. He huffs. But he’s my rock. And as Ben Affleck said about all of this, “…it’s work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

Happy Father’s Day!

Headed to Central Park.

Headed to Central Park.

Park dad.

Park dad.

Just bein' a dad on a Saturday.

Just bein’ a dad on a Saturday.

Neil's besties jumping in on the baby fun. And nailing Three Men and a Baby.

Neil’s besties jumping in on the baby fun. And nailing Three Men and a Baby.

Peas and Thank You

Y’all, I have to be honest. This week’s recipe post is kind of a cop-out. But that’s because I’m out of town. However, I promised myself I would post every Monday and Friday. So, I give you this week’s recipe that’s good for you and your babes – pureed peas for baby and peas with truffle butter for you. And it all takes about 10 minutes. You’re welcome.

Here I am in Israel with my mom. That's why I'm copping out on this post. But I'm with my mom - so that makes it OK, right?

Here I am, out of town…with my mom. That’s why I’m taking the easy road on this post. But I’m with my mom – so that makes it OK, right?

**This post is a cop-out because once upon a time I wrote a post about how I love school cafeteria food. And in the post I included a recipe for peas with truffle butter. Yea, truffle butter. Because. Truffles.

Here we go…

Prep time: Not long 🙂
Cook time: About 10 minutes
Serves: 2-4 adults, depending on your main dish & about 1/2 to 1 cup of baby pureed peas, depending on desired texture

One 16oz (1lb) bag frozen peas
1/2 tablespoon truffle butter, or regular butter if you don’t have truffle butter
1/4 cup shredded parmesan cheese
Salt & pepper to taste
1/4 cool water

Pour frozen peas into a medium pot over medium/low heat. Put water over peas to help them defrost and cover the pot for about three minutes. DON’T OVERCOOK THE PEAS. You want them to have a crunch and be slightly warm, but not frozen in the middle. Guys, there is only one thing that is worse than overcooked peas. Keep reading to find out. Once the peas are in a good place, transfer the peas to a strainer. Nothing is worse than watery peas. So now you know what is worse than overcooked peas.

Here is a photo of peas being strained, because I felt like I needed another photo.

Here is a photo of peas being strained, because I felt like I needed another photo. I’m sure more professional bloggers, and my husband, would advise against adding poorly taken photos of peas in a strainer just because I feel like I need another photo. Oh well.

For your baby’s food – take half of the peas and throw them into a food processor. Blend until desired texture, adding water if needed. When your baby is ready for more texture, you can mash peas with a potato masher or fork for a chunkier consistency. Place mashed/pureed peas in ice cube trays and freeze for individual services.

GUESS WHAT – YOUR BABY PEAS ARE DONE! Now, onto the adult portion of your meal.

Poorly lit peas, ready for freezing.

Poorly lit baby-food peas, ready for freezing.

Put the rest of the peas back in the pot once drained, and sprinkle with a little salt and pepper. Bring pot to low heat.

Mix in 1/2 tablespoon truffle butter, or regular butter. If you don’t have truffle butter, you can use regular butter and add truffle salt. Or truffle oil. Or truffle anything. And if you don’t have truffle anything, you can also finely dice up 1/4 cup mushrooms and throw them in. They don’t pack the same punch as truffle, but it will still taste delicious. And if you don’t have mushrooms, you can just butter the peas. Because butter makes everything better (and you’re still going to add cheese….cheese and butter = never a bad thing).

Once butter is mixed in, add the parmesan cheese so it gets melty.

Butter and cheese...yes, peas! (yea, I did that)

Butter and cheese…yes, peas! (yea, I did that)

Serve with just about anything. This is also really delicious over pasta!

Finished peas and a pork chop.

Finished peas and a pork chop. Ta. Da.

Your Baby Will Be Fine – It’s Just Stuff

Today’s post is about what you really need to have in the house when your baby is born – because it’s really not that much. And getting your house baby-ready, especially for a first-time parent can be really stressful. Am I right?

You guys, the first night home with a baby is stress enough - even if you have all the right things. Here I am at 3am wondering if I made the biggest mistake of my life. Don't worry, I didn't. :)

You guys, the first night home with a baby is stress enough – even if you have all the right things. Here I am at 3am wondering if I made the biggest mistake of my life. Don’t worry, I didn’t. 🙂

(Y’all, I know I promised I would post about my experience with delayed postpartum depression today, but as it turns out I recently had a doctor’s appointment and am going through some tests to see if we can get to the bottom of some things. So before I spill my guts (which I promise I will!) I want to make sure I have all the facts straight.)

A few days ago one of my favorite blogs had a post titled The 15 Things Every New Parent Needs. I can’t tell you how many lists like this I read when I was pregnant. And they all just made my heart race and basically made me worry that I was going to ruin my baby by not having the right stroller, diapers or burp cloths. This actually makes me smile now. I stressed over burp cloths. Really? But it’s these lists – (that are put together to help you) – that make things even more stressful for some people – like me. In the defense of the post from cupcakes and cashmere that I mention above, Emily does say in her opening paragraph that the post is a roundup of her favorite things. But – that damn title. If crazy me was flashed back to when I was pregnant for the first time time, I’m sure I’d freak out about not having everything on the list that EVERY NEW PARENT NEEDS.

Guys, all you really need in the beginning is below. And even if you don’t have all of these things – guess what? YOU’RE GOING TO BE OK! I PROMISE!

  • Bassinet if you’re going to have the baby in the room with you. I know plenty of people who put their baby in the crib the first night they were home.
  • Crib
  • Car Seat
  • Stroller
  • Blankets
  • Burp Cloths
  • Your boobs or bottles and formula
  • Some onesies and a few articles of clothing

Everything else you can get over time. AND IT WILL BE OK! I know, I know registering is SO overwhelming. I had many heart attacks and was so worried we would be completely unprepared when we brought Isla home. Plus, because I’m superstitious, we had NOTHING in the apartment before we brought her home except the car seat. So just think – if you’re reading this and planning on having a baby shower, you will be LIGHT YEARS ahead of where we were– and we ended up being JUST FINE.

Our happy baby, who was not destroyed by not having the perfect bouncer when she arrived home from the hospital.

Our happy baby, who was not destroyed by not having the perfect bouncer when she arrived home from the hospital.

We did register; we just didn’t release our registry until after Isla was born. Just know that once you’re finished with the registry it will be a huge relief. It took us about 6 weeks to get the registry to where wanted it (and we did a minimalist registry!) so don’t panic  – take time! Also, you can continue to register for stuff after the baby comes. This is something I wish we did. We realized things we needed and instead of adding them to registry, we ended up going and getting them ourselves. And then we heard from people there was nothing left on our registry. Oh well.

Grandpas putting the crib together AFTER Isla was born. See? It works out.

Grandpas putting the crib together AFTER Isla was born. See? It works out.

Hannah, our cat, thinking this is her new fancy cat bed. Poor girl...

Hannah, our cat, thinking this is her new fancy cat bed. Poor girl…

If you’re interested, here are details on what we ended up with – but remember. Every baby is different. What works for one, might not work for others. People will tell you there are certain things you have to have – like a swing. Guess what – Isla HATED the swing. Basically, it’s a lot of trial and error. So subscribe to the fact that you’ll be testing stuff out that might not work and you might go through a few things (especially during your quest for the “magic seat” – a magic place to put your baby down for a few minutes and not have her cry hysterically the minute she is out of your arms). And that’s OK! Buybuy Baby has a great return policy. That swing we bought – we used it for a few days – broke it down (kept ALL OF THE PLASTIC AND CARDBOARD AND LITTLE PIECES) took it back and said, “Once we built it we realized we didn’t have room.” They didn’t ask us a single question.

Isla in the Rock  'n Play - which people SWORE was the magical unicorn of a chair that EVERY BABY loves. Not so much.

Isla in the Rock ‘n Play – which people SWORE was the magical unicorn of a chair that EVERY BABY loves. Not so much.

Registry Notes:

  • Clothes: DO NOT REGISTER FOR CLOTHES! People get you so many things and babies grow so fast. Just have a few onesies and a few outfits at home and THAT’S IT. Let everyone else bring you clothes. We didn’t even know the sex of Isla before she was born and she now has more clothes than I do.
  • Changing table: We don’t have room for one, so we are just using a changing pad on our dining room table. Thanks, New York City!
  • Bottles– We went through a few different bottles – first Medela bottles, then Gerber bottles. We settled on Joovy Boob, which Isla likes best. Honestly, bottles are tricky. Just like so many other things that have to do with babies.
  • Crib – Y’all, it’s gonna sound ridiculous. But we have a crib on wheels due to the fact that we live in a one-bedroom apartment in NYC. We put Isla to bed in our room, and then when we are ready to go to sleep we roll her into the hallway. It’s all class around our apartment. We have the Stokke Sleepi Crib/Bed that will grow with Isla. For now, we just roll her around in it.
  • Swaddle blankets– We used the Moms on Call swaddle blanket when Isla was first born. It’s tough to get the hang of at first (here’s a youtube video) but it’s super snug and worked best for her. Once she got a little older we started using the Halo Sleep Sack Swaddle. It’s super easy to use.
  • Bathtubs– Check out this video from “Moms on Call“. You might want to consider just going straight to the tub – I know a lot of people that do it. We got this Summer Infant Bath Sling, which was great. But looking back, I should have just gone for the whale tub, which we grows with the baby. We weren’t sure about space, so we forwent the tub. We were wrong.
  • Burp cloths– I almost had a heart attack when I saw that some of the burp cloths that came “highly recommended” were $10 a pop. WHAT? No f’ing way was I registering for that. I called my mom wondering what happened to those white burp cloths we had when I was a baby – turns out they were cloth diapers. $12 for a pack of 10. Done and done.
  • Medela Easy Expression Hands-Free Bustier (fancy name for a hands-free pumping bra) – Gals, being able to get shit done while you pump is amazing. Getting things done on maternity leave means rocking your newborn while she cries and you pump. Or checking your email for a quick second while you’re milking yourself. If you’re pumping when you go back to work, this really is great. You can type on your computer while on a conference call and hum everyone to sleep with the gentle sounds of the pump. And yes, I pumped on conference calls. When the boobs are barking, you answer.
  • Bouncy Seat/Rocker/Swing– This is trial and error. A swing didn’t work for Isla. When she was three weeks old my friend’s parents sent us the My Little Lamb Infant Seat – IT WAS A MIRACLE WORKER FOR ISLA. I say that in caps lock because remember, every baby is different! We also have the Rock ‘n Play, which some people swear by. It’s great because it folds up nicely, but Isla has to be in the mood for it. We decided to keep it because it’s nice to have something to put friends babies in when they come over.
  • Pack and Play– We registered and received the Lotus Travel Crib and Portable Playard, which is SICKLY expensive, but it only weighs 11lbs and is easy to tote around. We have used it a few times and for us, it is worth it.
  • Stroller – We have the Bugaboo Cameleon3 Complete Stroller set that my cousin had and she sent us. It’s also ridiculously expensive and not easy to collapse, but it was a free really fancy stroller, so we took it and were very thankful. Isla really liked the bassinet, so that’s what I strolled her in for the most part before we brought her upright (she’s growing too fast!). Also, the bassinet from the Bugaboo is what we had her in before we moved her into her crib. No need to get ANOTHER bassinet). Look – it’s a stroller. It’s a necessity. Go to BuyBuy Baby and test some things out. See what seems right for not only your baby, but your budget.
  • Car Seat – We have the Chico Key Fit 30 car seat and it’s GREAT. Most of my friends have this car seat. We also have the Keyfit Caddy which is AWESOME for when we are traveling or hopping in a cab. It’s super simple to click the car seat into, so simple to collapse and very light weight, so when I’m by myself getting in and out of a cab I’m not struggling with the stroller base. It will be nice too when we fly to not have to lug the giant stroller with us. I recommend checking it out. It’s not meant to be a full-time stroller, so you still need something else. At first Neil and I thought this would be a surplus item, but I’m glad we listened to my friends who really pushed it.
  • Diaper Pail– Apparently there are diaper pails that need special diaper pail bags. So, you know, trash bags that are a cool $10 more expensive than what you would normally get. We found the Ubbi Diaper Pail, which uses normal tall kitchen trash bags so we aren’t having to special order or buy “diaper pail bags”…ugh, give me a break with this stuff.
  • Gift Cards – I felt weird about doing this at first, but it was nice to register for gift cards instead of registering for stuff we didn’t need quite yet. A lot of people will just register for the whole kit and caboodle right away (stuff through one year) but we don’t have room for it.

And that’s all I got – because anything more gets too overwhelming. If you have any questions on specifics for baby registries or just what to have in general when your baby comes home, feel free to email me at

My Experience With Hair Loss After Pregnancy (Photo Included)

Confession time, y’all.

About four months after Isla was born, I started losing my hair. I know, I know. Some of you out there are thinking – so did I! It was coming out in clumps! I wondered how I still had hair!

BUT YOU GUYS – I had some bald patches and majorly thinning hair. And here is the photo to prove it:


Let’s rewind a bit. When I was about eight-months pregnant I went to my most amazing hair dresser Khirsten. She was raving about my pregnancy hair, and I’ll be honest, I was raving about it, too. My pre-pregnancy hair was very fine and a frizz-disaster. My pregnancy hair was lush, like a horses mane. While sitting in Khirsten’s chair she said, “I don’t want you to be alarmed, so I’m going to prep you now. You’re going to lose a lot of hair after pregnancy. A lot. And you might have some bald spots here, and here.” (pointing to the area right above both temples). The hairline above my temples isn’t the greatest. There is about a 2 inch span back to the crown of my head that is basically just baby hair. It’s been like that my whole life. Khirsten warned me that the baby hair would most likely grow more than it ever has (see below) and then probably fall out – but don’t worry, she said. It will come back!

Me and Khirsten the day she predicted my future.

Khirsten and me the day she predicted my future.

Well, I brushed that off (see what I did there). And after Isla arrived my hair was EVEN MORE AMAZING THAN PREGNANCY HAIR. I thought I had escaped the dreaded post-pregnancy hair loss. Instead of wrapping my ponytail holder around my hair four times, I was only wrapping it twice. I wasn’t seeing any signs of hair falling out. I figured I was golden. I even sent Khirsten a photo of my previous above the temple hair in all it’s glory.

Check out my amazing temple hair!

Hey Khirsten, look at my LONG baby hair! It’s so long that I can BRAID it!


Here I am taking selfies with my baby. And my lush hair.

And just like that. It was all a dream. One day while showering I ran my fingers through my hair and about a handful of hair came out. I hadn’t washed my hair in a week – because you know – I had a four month old and finding time to wash my hair wasn’t easy. Since it had been a week and I had been wearing a luscious two wrapped ponytail the whole time, I figured the clump of hair was due to everything being trapped – no brushing. No nothing. But then another handful. And another. And so on. It got bad. REALLY BAD.

The hair loss got so bad that a few weeks later our super had to come and snake the shower drain. And snaking it wasn’t good enough. He had to use some sort of crazy vacuum to get all the hair out. I made sure that I collected all the loose hair, splashed it up against the shower wall, and then cleared it out later (and sometimes wrote love notes in hair on the wall to my husband), but alas. Hair was just constantly falling out. Hair was everywhere, all the time. There was nothing I could do about it.

Shower wall hair.

Shower wall hair.

And then one day when I went to pull my hair back in a ponytail I noticed two large almost-completely bald spots. Right above my temples. Right where Khirsten had said it would happen. Oh, and I was back to wrapping my ponytail holder around my hair 4 times.

For about a two month period I had to blow dry my hair and style it because I had to hide the bald spots for work (see my thoughts on this below). However, with my friends, I owned it. I would flip my head to the side and show them what was up. Because hey, this is shit no one tells you will most likely happen after you have a baby. Yea, we talk about hair shedding, but I didn’t hear about people actually having bald spots and majorly thinning hair.

Once the hair started growing back, there was a period of time it looked like I had that trendy hairdo where you shave the sides of your head – someone in the subway even complimented me on being bold and having that haircut.

This is not a trendy-partially-shaved hairdo. This is me about a month after hair loss.

This is not a trendy-partially-shaved hairdo. This is me about two months after hair loss.

I’m now about three months post-bald spots and I have a fuzzy coat of downy hair. And guess what – I’m owning it. Because here’s the deal – I don’t want any women out there to be dumbfounded, surprised, embarrassed, anxious or upset if this happens to them. It’s time we start talking about what really happens after you have a baby so women stop feeling so alone as they go through their experiences. Pregnancy does things to your body and your hormones and your sanity, y’all. It changes you. We shouldn’t be fighting to get back to our “pre-baby body” – because WE BIRTHED BABIES. We literally carried babies and delivered them via our birth canal, pushing them out of our vaginas, or by having a major surgery that cuts open our abdomen and uterus. We should be embracing these changes and celebrating what happens to our bodies. While my bald spots weren’t the most attractive, instead of being something I felt like I had to hide at work, couldn’t they be badges of honor?

Anyway…visit me again next week for my post on my experience with delayed postpartum depression. It’s a real thing. I’ll also have a recipe post. Here’s the schedule. Fridays will be dedicated to “Shit No One Tells You About AFTER Your Baby Arrives” and Mondays will be dedicated to recipes. Let’s start our week and end our week together!

In the mean time to keep yourselves busy, take a look at this WikiHow on how to deliver a baby at home. Please be sure to pay close attention to drawing in Part 2 of 5 – because  sure, that’s really what it looks like when a baby comes out the birth canal. I mean, if there’s going to be a WikiHow on how to deliver a baby they could at least provide realistic photos. Right? (Please note this is not a promotion for delivering babies at home via directions on WikiHow. This is a note on how ridiculous the photo is.)

Click here for more information about post-pregnancy hair loss…and pregnancy hair amazingness.